


A Last Breath's Haze

by TRAGICSINS



Category: Fearless Vampire Killers (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood, Cutting, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Original Character Death(s), Physical Abuse, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-21 17:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2476193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRAGICSINS/pseuds/TRAGICSINS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laurence and Kier have been best friends since they were 9. And if you thought their friendship couldn't get any closer you're wrong. Read the struggles of two 17 year old boys with three of their other friends Luke, Drew, and Barrone as they kick high school's ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is explicit content in this with problems addressed such as self-harm and eating disorders. Do NOT read if you could be triggered easily by these topics/references.

Chapter 1

Objectives

It all started when my day had begun with a routine of check-ups involving the loss of my blood to people dressed in white. As a young adult at the ripe age of 17 you’d imagine it’d be hard to find yourself in a hospital every other month because the doctors say your heart is “weak”. Frankly, I find my heart to be pretty strong minus the 3 incidents that have occurred in the past year. But otherwise I’m doing fine.

Just fine.

My mother found another guy to date after dad left for his so-called “business trip”. His excuse to just go and spend the rest of my mother’s money is what I think made me sick.

My mother of course wasn’t too smart about who she’d been sleeping with and eventually ended up contracting HIV which is basically going to turn into AIDS, ultimately leading her to death. But she says as long as I’m safe with a man better than what she had before I’ll be fine.

I beg to differ.

“Howard-Cakes” is what she likes to call her boyfriend. I just refer to him as the ‘douche-bag piece of shit that wants nothing to do with me nor my mom and is only in it for the money’ guy. It’s too bad my mom isn’t smart enough to see that he only has sex because he wants to see her nude. He’s gotten so bad about it that I’ve had to listen to the whiny moans come from their room for the past week. On top of that I’m not allowed to answer the phone or make any calls. Not even to my own father. And while they might now want me to have anything to do with my dad I can’t help but wonder what he was like. I was too young to tell the difference between my real father and just another man my mom brought home when I was smaller.

I often heard stories of how mean he was to my mom. How he beat her and how he almost broke her nose one time after she refused to order out for dinner. It’s so hard for me to believe that he would do such a thing to her but like I said, I was too young to know.

As for my childhood, I don’t remember much. I know I was told to go to my room a lot. And I barely recall ever seeing my dad. Maybe it’s because he was out drinking or paying prostitutes to do the job my mom couldn’t satisfy him with. Nonetheless my circumstances, I think I’ve turned out to be a pretty fucking good kid. I mean sure my grades aren’t the best and my hair is dyed bright red but I’ve never gotten in trouble with the law.

I don’t even smoke or anything. I basically sit in my room all night until I fall asleep and go to school the next morning.

That’s one thing I can’t stand. School.

Why do I want to sit in a cold ass room for 7+ hours and learn about something that doesn’t make sense to me anyways?

I think I have a problem with focusing.

Anyways, I guess it’s time for me to go to the hell I just spoke about.

* * *

Thank god I had lunch after 4th period because by that time I’m tired of hearing teachers assign worksheet after worksheet. Lunch was the only time I could spend with my friends.

“Where’s Drew?” Luke always sat across from me outside.

Laurence shrugged. “Mm, didn’t see him in history,”

“Fuck him, he said he’d be here today.”

“Can’t help you Kier, you’re asking someone who never has an idea of what’s happening” Laurence began droning on and on about how much he hated himself.

I just sat in silence and zoned out while eating my disgusting turkey sandwich. Why the fuck did I ever eat these?

Just then, I focused back in on what Laurence was saying.

“Laurence stop dude,” I yelled at him.

He looked at me with tears almost in his eyes.

“Fucking stop. My god, you’re fucking brilliant don’t you see that? All you ever do is beat yourself up and it’s really fucking annoying. Not annoying on purpose but annoying in the way that it makes me upset,” people around me started staring at us two. “Come on” I grabbed his wrist and pulled him off the ground with me.

“What’re you doing?” his voice was shaky.

“Showing you how brilliant you are” I was going to take him to the bathroom. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to portray it to him in a boy’s bathroom but I was going to figure it out somehow.

Our footsteps and shuffling echoed in the bathroom as we entered. I pushed Laurence to the long mirror beside the sinks. He just stood there in front of it looking at himself.

“What do you see?” I asked.

“My reflection,” he mumbled back.

“Go deeper than that,” I was gonna make sure Laurence saw how amazing he was.

He opened his mouth to say something. “I-,” he paused. “I can’t,” he turned away from the mirror.

I whined lowly and grabbed his shoulders. “No, now really, come on. Dig deeper,” I turned him back around.

He just stared at himself for at least five minutes before saying something. “Kier, I just see myself. I can’t go any deeper than that,”

Walking in between him and the mirror I look up at him. My hand grabs his face and squish it together gently. “Laurence,” he looks away. “Laurence look at me.”

He grabs my hand and pulls it off of him. “Kier, what?! What do you want? You’re not going to change how I feel about myself and you’re just going to have to deal with that. Okay? Fuck off.”

I stepped back shocked and blinking at him. He closed his eyes and shook his head before walking away and leaving.

The bell rang.

* * *

After the bathroom incident with Laurence I decided I’d walk home with him after school. It seemed like something was bothering him and my brain was itching to know what it was that troubled him.

I couldn’t find Laurence after the last bell. We always met up in the same spot every day after school. I thought of the only place he could be.

The bathroom.

“Laurence?” I spoke softly into the small restroom. I figured he didn’t have to answer me if he didn’t want to, so I walked in.

There he was sitting on the floor, his back resting against a metal heater.

He peered up at me and rolled down his sleeves.

I quickly pounced over to him and grabbed his hand. “Hey, hey, hey what are you doing?” I picked up his arm.

Laurence bit his lip hard and looked down.

“What is this?” I rolled his sleeve back up and looked at his forearm.

Cuts ran up the whole way up to where his arm bent. My brow furrowed as I wet my lips.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I questioned. He wouldn’t answer me, wouldn’t even look at me.

“Laurence, answer me. I’m not mad at you, I just want to know,” it was frustrating talking to someone who wouldn’t respond.

“I was too afraid to,” he finally croaked out.

“But you know I wouldn’t judge you,”

He snatched back his arm. “Yes you would, that’s what everyone says. They- they say they’re not going to say anything and that they’re not going to judge me, but what do they do? They laugh and jeer when they realize that I’m fucked up. And they’re why I’m fucked up Kier. It gets to me so much and I can’t help myself. It feels so good and painful at the same time,” tears began to well up in his eyes.

“But Laurence, don’t you trust me?” I can see the hurt displayed bluntly in his expression.

He shakes his head and closes his eyes as a tear runs down his cheek. “I trust no one” he breathily chokes out.

I can feel my throat closing up and my eyes begin to burn. I drop down to my knees in front of him and cry. He pulls his legs up to his chest and I feel him watching me break down.

“I-I’m sorry Kier” a muffled sob escapes from him.

I look up at him and scoot closer. I grab his hand from his legs and hold it. He continues to cry on himself as I clutch his hand harder until it turns bright red.

I just let him go for a while until I hear him slowly begin to stop and just sniffle. I run my hand up his arm and to his shoulder before speaking quietly. “Laurence,” I whisper. “Can you please come over to my house?”

He looks up from his wet arm and nods slowly.

“Okay. Come on” I stand up slowly and help him up. My brain tells me to fight back tears, to stay strong for Laurence. He looks so broken and frail. I let go of his hand in fear that it’s been an awkward amount of time.

“No” he mumbles and grabs my hand to hold it again.

We walk to my car and drive home.

I let Laurence enter first and closer the door behind me. He knows to immediately go to my room without me telling him. I close my bedroom door as well and watch him flop down on the floor. He rubs his eyes and runs a hand through his messy hair which is curling at the ends from the sweat on his forehead. I sit down next to him and he holds my hand again. I watch him staring at the floor emotionless.

“Laur-“ he cuts me off.

“Kier?” he looks me in the eyes. “You actually do care, don’t you?”

I nod. “I do. You’re my _best_ friend,”

“Am I something more?” he shyly looks away.

My breathing stops briefly. Did he just ask that? Does he think of me as something more than a friend? “I-I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it,”

A sigh comes from his mouth. “Oh…,”

“We’ve never done anything that would make me think about it,”

“You did earlier today,”

“What?”

“When you told me to stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. That was something right?”

“I mean, I guess,”

“Then you do like me more than a friend,”

“Laurence, that’s not why I asked you to come over,”

“Why don’t you just answer my question and I’ll answer yours?” he sneers.

“Can you please just cooperate with me?” I find myself getting increasingly annoyed.

“Fine,”

“Okay, good,” I study him. Maybe I do like him. “Now, when did you start y’know-,”

“Self-harming,” he mumbles out. “I’ve done it ever since I can remember,”

“But I never saw?”

“That’s because I never took my clothes off around anyone. It’s why I wear long sleeves all year long Kier. How could you not notice?”

“You can’t notice what you can’t see,” I put in my defense.

“I’m just- I’m sorry Kier. I can’t help myself. The urge just gets too strong when I hear their voices,”

“Whose voices?”

“The people’s voices,”

“But _who_?”

“My bullies,”

I shift closer to him and sit on my legs. “Are they inside your head?”

He nods.

“Do your parents know?”

“My parents don’t care. No one cares. Only you do. And only you know,”

“Laurence, I’m scared for you,”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry.” He looks at me and I look back. He really does have such a nice face and as I peer down, he has such a nice body. I’d honestly never been this close to him before. We’d never touched before, not even to high-five. And now, we’d been holding hands and we’d cried with each other. I guess I liked him more than I originally thought. “Do you mind if I do something?” I want to ask before I do anything without his consent.

“No, not at all” he watches me.

My heart drops to my stomach and my hands grab the sides of his shaven face. I close my eyes and let my lips do the rest. I hear him gasp and kiss me back moments later. His hands brush over my arms and eventually clutch my shirt when I bite his lip.

When I pull back he exhales, his eyes still closed. A smile appears on his face. His dimples make me smile, something I hadn’t noticed before. He breathes for a few moments before looking directly at me again.

Neither of us can say anything, for we’re both too goddamn nervous to. It’s just the sound of our inhales and exhales that fills the empty space of my room. I swallow hard and fix my hair while watching him bite his lip.

I clear my throat. “You taste so good” I shyly glance in his direction.

“Really?”

I smirk and nod.

“Fuck…” he mutters breathlessly.

He bites his lip and pauses just as his phone vibrates. He lets out a sigh and grabs it from his back pocket. He reads for a second, texts back, and locks his phone. “I have to go. My mom wants me home. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” he gets up.

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye,”

“Bye” he scratches the back of his head and leaves.

“Bye” I mutter to myself.

I shake my head and clutch my hair. I’m so stupid, why did I kiss him? I mean it’s not like he wasn’t asking for it. Fuck, he really did taste so good. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I just need to go to bed, it’s late anyways.

And so that’s exactly what I did. I went to bed and I couldn’t sleep one bit.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. A Little Past Home Base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> added element of child abuse, don't read if triggered easily

I woke up to the sound of the alarm buzzing at 6 am. Ugh, school again. At least I’d get to see Laurence.

I didn’t dream at all surprisingly. I was expecting some hot sex scene between him and I but let’s not talk about my sexual fantasies in the early morning.

Anyways, I headed downstairs and just….left.

I figured my mom doesn’t give two shits where I go or what I do. She’s too into asshole to give a fuck about me. It’s just like two years ago when she left for a week straight without even telling me. She had left for London to “take some time off” is what she said. Reminder, London is over 100 miles away by car so you can imagine how long it took her to get there and back. She said she drove herself but I highly doubt she did.

I guess it would be another day of walking to school. It was raining as usual, that’s Beccles weather for you.

When I did finally arrive at school I went straight to my locker and then met up with the guys. They were huddled together in a side hallway.

“Hey!” I smiled and waved while walking towards them.

Their heads all popped up and faced me. “Hey Kier, come here” Drew grabbed my wrist and flung me into the circle next to him.

I wrapped my arm around his back and looked at what everyone else. Barrone was playing Mario on his Gameboy Advance. “What are we excited about exactly?” they harmoniously shushed me.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, go, go, go!” Drew shouted.

I looked at him and shook my head. I peered back over at Barrone’s screen and saw what everyone was excited about. He was about to beat the entire game if he defeated Bowser for the billionth time.

“Shit” Laurence choked out.

I exhaled and looked up at him. He was wearing all black today with a puffy jacket that had fur lining the hood. He didn’t notice me staring at him so I glanced back at the small screen.

“Oh, oh, oh” Drew panted.

We erupted into cheers and claps and screams.

“Fuck YEAHHHHHHH” Drew growled and screamed. He ran over and high-fived Barrone. We all gave him high-fives. He had completed the entire game.

“Boys, boys, boys, shhh school is almost in session” the principal walked by.

“Sorry sir” I murmured. He nodded and continued walking.

I turned back and around and punched Barrone’s arm excitedly. He smiled and moved away batting at my hands.

“I guess we should all get going eh?” Laurence said.

We all nodded and parted ways.

* * *

Laurence joined me. “Hey,” he smiled at me.

“H-hey,” I blushed involuntarily.

He bit his lip and looked away smirking to himself.

“Huh?” I tried to wander what he was thinking about.

“Oh, nothing, just thinking about Shane winning Mario,” he looked back at me.

“Oh…” “So-“ I cut him off. “I didn’t scare you yesterday did I?” I wanted to make sure I didn’t make him uncomfortable with me.

“Huh, no. Not at all. I was actually just about to ask if maybe you wanted to come over to my house today. We haven’t hung out at my place for a while,” he stuck his hands in his coat pockets.

“Yeah, sure, that’d be fun. Did you have something planned?”

“Uh, sorta. You’ll see,” he bit his lip before speaking again. “I guess I should get to my class. I don’t wanna be late,”

“Me either, bye” I waved.

“Bye” he grinned and turned away.

I exhaled heavily and rubbed my face. He made me feel so crazy inside. I tried to get my mind off the end of the day before it even started. I knew today was going to go by slow, I just knew.

* * *

Lunch creeped up slowly and here I was, sitting in a circle in the grass with the guys. Laurence sat beside me; a new change. We all ate our food and talked about who knows what. Drew was over-dramatic with his expressions as usual. He was the reason why we were laughing the entire time. Drew told a joke and Laurence began to laugh so hard, he was rocking back and forth and hitting the ground with his hands. It was such a cute sight to see.

Fuck, I shouldn’t be thinking like that.

I smiled at Laurence’s fit of laughter and couldn’t help but laugh as well. We were all going crazy in that moment I swear. Drew ended up laying on the ground and rolling around, he was so giddy. After we managed to calm ourselves, we realized there was two minutes before lunch was over. I quickly packed up my things and stood up. The bell rang and we all headed our own ways.

School didn’t seem to be so bad after that. Classes went fairly fast and soon I was waiting for Laurence by my car. He never drove to school by himself so I always gave him a ride home. Just this time I didn’t have to leave after dropping him off. He smiled widely as he walked towards me. His fingers wrapped around both straps of his backpack. Black looked so nice on him. Now if only he’d wear black makeup to match, I’d pay to see that. I bit my lip when he stood right in front of me.

“Let’s go” he walked to the passenger’s side and got in. I did so too and backed out quickly. We sped off towards his house and made it in under 10 minutes.

He fumbled with the keys before successfully opening the door. I set my bag down by the door and took my shoes off. He did the same and began making his way upstairs to his room. I followed him because I honestly did not remember which bedroom was his. I walked into a navy blue room with grey sheets covering the bed and dim lighting. My first response was to inhale and smell the atmosphere. Clean with a hint of cologne that smelled like cracked pepper. I heard the door click shut behind me.

“Sorry it’s..kinda messy” Laurence’s voice was raspy.

I shook my head and furrowed my brow. “No, no, it’s fine. It’s perfect” I reassured him.

He glanced around and gulped as he walked over to his desk and threw something in the drawer. It slammed shut making me flinch.

“What was that?” I became increasingly queasy.

“It’s nothing, Kier,” I could tell he was getting angry.

“Yes, it’s obviously something if you’re hiding it,”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone for two seconds?”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, I just wanted you to come over so we could hang out. Not for you to get up in my business,”

“Okay, but you’re my friend,” my arms crossed.

“You just don’t get it do you?”

“Get what? What the fuck don’t I get? Please enlighten me,”

“Everything. You don’t get anything,”

“At least I get what we’re doing in math instead of writing stupid fictional stories,” He flinched back.

“That- hurt” he swallowed and looked down at the ground.

I stood in silence. “Laurence, I-" my mind couldn’t form words. “I didn’t mean it like that,” He shook his head.

“No, I knew exactly what you meant. I just- didn’t know you felt that way.”

I unfolded my arms and walked towards him. He stepped back from me and turned his head to the side.

“No please, Laurence, don’t cry” tears dripped down his face and onto the floor below.

I had never watched someone break apart so easily. And I felt so bad. And I couldn’t stop him. He fell to his knees in front of me and held himself up with his hands. I watched him and wanted to punch myself so hard. I should’ve never let myself say that.

“Laurence,” I whined. “I’m sorry, I really am. Please believe me, I love you” a choked sob escaped his body.

“No,” he coughed. “No you don’t Kier. No one can love someone as shitty as me.”

My face scrunched up as I resisted the urge to cry in front of him because his words hurt me from the inside-out. They ripped at the seams of my clothes and penetrated through my skin into my bloodstream and back out.

I kneeled down and picked him up by the waist. He willingly stood back up and couldn’t stop shaking at how much emotion was released. I softly grabbed his hand away from his face and looked at him. Starbursts of red coated his cheeks from the water seeping through his pores. Black strands of hair stuck to his forehead and his eyes were bloodshot from it all. My hand found its way to the side of his face and my thumb stroked his cheek. He swallowed roughly and daringly looked in my eyes. He just blinked, studying me. A puff of air escaped his mouth and he hugged me tightly. I rubbed my hands up and down his back. My left hand reached up and repeatedly ran down the back of his head and neck. His breath was shaky.

“Calm down baby….calm down….I love you,” I whispered softly.

His hot breath hit my neck as he turned his head and kissed the skin just above my shirt collar. The words ‘I love you’ came out.

“I love you so, so much. Please never forget that Laurence,” I muttered over and over. “Never.”

When I noticed his breath slowly come back to a normal pace, I stepped back and leaned against the desk located just in front of the only window in the room.

“I’m really sorry I keep on doing this,” he nervously rocked back and forth on his heels.

I shook my head slightly. “No, I shouldn’t have said that. I really didn’t mean it, it just sort of out slipped out,” He slowly nodded once.

“You wanna see what’s on the tele?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He flipped on the TV and clicked through the channels. We found a movie to watch. Our bodies were so close together and he bumped me when he switched positions.

“Sorry” he muttered. I hummed as an ‘it’s alright’ response. A sex scene played out on the screen and I could feel myself getting increasingly tense as the seconds passed by. I felt a nervous energy coming off of Laurence as well and decided to end this awkward tension between us. My hand brushed against his for way too long before he finally decided to pay attention to it. He blinked slow and faced me.

“God, fuck” my brain went haywire when our lips touched. A satisfactory whimper came from his mouth and he pushed me down on the floor. I grunted and watched his long legs spread apart over my body. I closed my eyes and inhaled deep when his hands ran up my groin to my chest.

His fingers tug at the collar of my shirt and while I’m reluctant to take anything off, I do anyways. And I know I shouldn’t expect the same from him but I do and I attempt to make him take his shirt off. But he won’t.

“No Kier, please,” he stops touching my chest. “I don’t want you to see anything and get mad at me,” That only teases me more.

“Laurence just let me, I’m not going to judge you. You know that. I want you naked with me,” His breathing stops.

“I know but,”

I tug at his shirt again and pout. “Please…for me,” He rolls his eyes and grabs the top button at his shirt.

“You promise you won’t laugh at me?”

“I cross my heart,” He unbuttons his shirt the rest of the way and lets it just sit open. I take the initiative and expose his torso. A sharp intake of air fills my lungs.

“Ffffuck” I say loudly. I had never realized how much chest hair turned me on until I saw Laurence half naked and straddling my crotch. His pelvis hovered inches above mine and I was tempted to buck my hips up but didn’t want to take it too far. So I just ran my hands up his chest. The hair stood up for a brief moment when my fingers grazed through it and flattened back down when I ran my hands over it.

“You’re perfect,” I said breathlessly. He just blinked at me.

“You’re touching me, Kier.”

I swallowed and nodded slowly, staring at his skin. “And I love it.”

I felt him inhale deeply with my hands on his chest still. My fingers brushed lightly down the center of his body and stopped just above the belt buckle. He bit his lip and looked down thinking.

“Only if you want” I reassured him.

He whined and moaned once, not sure what to say. “Nnhng, fuck. Do it.”

I wet my lips and carefully unbuckled his belt; unzipped his jeans. He moaned when my knuckles lightly brushed over his boner. His jeans were so tight against his legs as I pulled them down.

“Holy shit Laurence,” he was huge.

“Huh?” he looked down at me.

“You’re so big” I gulped. He blushed bright red.

I rubbed my lips together and palmed him through his underwear. A moan came from his lips. Hell, it was so hot to see him this turned on. I cupped his balls and squeezed lightly, just enough to make him twitch forward. I gripped them tighter making him double-over and put an arm on either side of me. He whined my name which only made me want to bone him more and more. I decided to tease him more by running my first two fingers in and around the strap of his briefs, pulling them back, and letting the fabric snap back against his soft skin. I did it repeatedly making the skin red and tender.

He began bucking his hips forward. “S-stop, you’re gonna make me cum,” his hand clutched my wrist.

Another moan escaped his lips and his head fell back. I listened to him moan over and over, almost completely losing it.

“Laurence?” he whimpered. “Do you want to cum?” He nodded once.

I swallowed hard and wrapped my fingers around him. A moan released at the touch and a thrust into my hand.

“Hold still” I murmured.

He whimpered and closed his eyes as I stroked him quickly. Soft ‘OH’s’ came from him and every once a while a drawn out ‘OH’ filled the room. I looked up at him, a beautiful sight with his head thrown back and his neck exposed. Without hesitation, I wrapped my mouth around the head of his cock and sucked. He throbbed in my mouth and whined out a ‘fuck’. I felt him trying to grab my hair but his muscles were too limp to do anything. I sat up on my knees more allowing him to cling onto something. I sucked him off harder making him pant. He whined my name again and again. His voice turned me on so much I could feel my pants getting tighter as the minutes passed.

“I’m gonna cum” he yelled. I stroked him once more making him cum all down my hand and over my chest and face. He groaned and moaned loud letting “Kier fuck me” to be said. When he came down, he opened his eyes and gasped.

“Holy shit” a heavy pant.

I looked up at him still kneeled down. A smirk formed on my face as I stood up and rubbed up against him. He whimpered at the touch, tender on his cock. I wiped the cum off where it landed and licked my fingers clean, moaning at the taste.

“You taste so fucking good” I exhaled and closed my eyes.

He blushed and bent over to pick up his clothes. His body shivered as he put everything back on and kissed me. His lips trembled against mine but his breath was hot. He stepped back and exhaled, “you should go before my mom catches us.”

My face dropped. “I guess so” I sighed.

“Bye.”

“See ya” I waved and left promptly.

I must admit my heart felt heavy when I got home. I felt like I had fucked up my friendship with Laurence.

“You hungry?” my mom popped her head into my room.

My hand rested on my cheek. “No” I mumbled.

The door creaked open further and a hand embraced my shoulder. “What’s wrong?” I turned to see my mom looking at me with furrowed eyebrows.

I turned back around and sighed. “Nothing,”

“Yes, there is,”

“No mom really just- leave me alone like you always do,”

“Excuse me, there’s no need to be a bitch about it” she stormed out.

“Yeah, you would know all too well about that topic wouldn’t you” I shouted towards her.

I bit my lip nervously and watched her furiously walk back in my room.

\--

All I remember: nothing.

The only recurring thoughts are the pain on the left side of my face and the blood running down my face. My hands are shaky, my vision is blurred, and I can’t think straight. I vomit on the floor beside me and cough. My lungs gasp for air as I’m hunched over with my hands clutching my stomach. “Fuck” I spit in the sink. I run my arm across my mouth and turn on the water. Once it’s warm I splash my face and wipe off the blood. A black-blue bruise has already formed on my cheek and around my eye. How the fuck was I supposed to hide this from school?

I know. Not go to school. That was all I could do. Makeup couldn’t cover this welt up and it was too tender to touch. Leaning back I saw that it was only ten after nine. Maybe I could call Laurence. I prepared myself for him to either 1. Not answer or 2. Hang up on me as soon as I said something.

“Hello?” his voice cracked.

“Laurence, hey” I said softly.

“Kier, what do you want?”

“Can you come over?”

“Why?”

“Just- please, can you?”

“I don’t want to,”

“I need help,”

“Kier, what’s wrong? Tell me,”

“I don’t want to explain right now. Fine, if you won’t come over then meet me two blocks down from your house at that playground where those kids smoke pot after school,”

“Okay.”

“Bye” I hung up, grabbed my jacket, and snuck out of my window. I climbed down the lattice structure just to the left of my room. I bolted across the yard and jumped over the fence.

Laurence was sitting on one of the swings when I arrived. Damn, he had shorts on. It was the middle of winter for fucks sake.

He looked up when he heard me come nearer. A look of horror displayed upon his face. “What happened?” his hand reached up and lightly touched the bruising on my cheek.

I winced at the pain and bit my lip. I could either tell him or run now. No Kier you trust Laurence. “Um,”

“Did your mom do this to you?” I glanced up at him and back down nodding slowly. “You need to call someone about that. That’s not right Kier you know that?”

I paused and sighed heavily. “I-can’t,”

“What do you mean? It’s child abuse,”

“You don’t understand,” He cocked his head to the side.

“I have nowhere left to go if she gets arrested. I can’t call child services on her, I’d be put into foster care,”

“But you’re 17,”

“Exactly, I’m not old enough to live on my own,”

“Live with me,” he swallowed.

I opened my mouth and closed it back up when I hadn’t said anything after a brief lapse of time. “I don’t want to burden you,”

“You wouldn’t,”

“I just can’t Laurence, I’d get in more trouble than I am now.”

“Fine” he walked away.

Yet again, I was heartbroken. He walked away so easily and I didn’t even try to stop him. I walked back home and let the increasing cold make my bruise numb. I hadn’t felt like shit in this long. My lights went out at an early time of 10 pm just ‘cause I found no will to stay up and wait for anything to happen. Nothing was going to happen. And nothing ever would from this point on. My stomach grumbled and churned. “Shut up” I muttered before letting my eyes drift close and slept.


End file.
